Somewhere in between making fun of the Arizona State Sun Devils for hiring the coward known as Dino Babers, and the scooter ban on campus... my good friend Brendan reminded me of my long held belief that the mums inside Notre Dame Stadium need replaced — immediately.
No — I’m not talking about the need of mum replacement like a basic mom replaces mums each fall while under the spell a psychotic trance created by too much pumpkin spice and overheating in the 87 degree midwestern sun while wearing a beanie. Those needs certainly need addressed at some point — maybe even by the US Congress — but that’s not my intent today.
My dream is that the mums are replaced with the skulls and bones of the faithful. Notre Dame is a Catholic institution after all, with strong European connections. If we are going to have a replica of the Grotto at Lordes, why not pay homage to one of the handful of churches that are literally made of skulls and bones?
We probably can’t (and shouldn’t) go dig up some old graves for the bones, but I don’t think it would be too difficult to find a nice number of alumni and fans to donate a few bucks and a few bones to forever be enshrined inside Notre Dame Stadium. They’ll probably need some type of dispensation from the church, especially since Catholicism is pretty strict about things such as cremation (which a person can do, but the ashes must be buried right after the funeral rites and NOT scattered). But, I think, once you explain to the bishops that this is necessary to finally rid Notre Dame Stadium of the mums and to win a national championship — I can’t see any reason why they would rule against putting dem bones in the planters.
I’m just saying... I kind of love the offseason.