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Predicting Notre Dame’s 2022 football season with 24 sentences

Brevity is the key to life

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: OCT 23 USC at Notre Dame Photo by Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

We are 165 days away from the start of the college football season for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. That’s about as good as any time to start looking at the season ahead. Is there really much difference with the makeup of these teams between now and July? Maybe — but definitely not enough for me to care.

We’re prognosticators — not gods. It absolutely fine to not be entirely on the mark right now, but also fine to start talking about it. Anyone that says otherwise hates fun and probably Skittles too.

So let’s get into it. I have 12 game predictions and two sentences for each game.

September 3 @ Ohio State Buckeyes

Any Irish fan that is happy this will be a night game has no idea how Columbus works during football season. Notre Dame gets burnt by the biggest mismatch in the game — the Buckeye wideouts versus the secondary.

ND 24, OSU 33

September 10 VS Marshall Thundering Herd

Is Marshall a Sun Belt team? Marcus Freeman finally gets that first win, and it’s uncomfortable for one half.

ND 37, Marshall 18

September 17 VS California Golden Bears

Purdue transfer quarterback Jack Plummer makes his way back to Notre Dame Stadium where he threw for 187 yards and 1 TD in 2021. Cal is still the most unpredictable opponent on the Irish schedule.

ND 41, Cal 23

September 24 @ North Carolina Tar Heels

Chubby Ian Book and the bad veteran offensive line is gone. UNC plays Florida A&M, Appalachian State, and Georgia State before getting a bye week before the Irish come to town.

ND 37, UNC 13

October 1 VS BYU Cougars in Las Vegas

BYU is going to play tough and scrappy per usual, and should be one of the tougher games in Shamrock Series history. It’s still not going to change the outcome of the game.

ND 34, BYU 24

October 8 VS Stanford Cardinal

Stanford continues its massive spiral down as a quality PAC-12 team. The mid-season matchup in South Bend has lost most of the luster it once held during the Brian Kelly era.

ND 37, Stanford 17

October 22 VS UNLV Rebels

UNLV is not a good football team. Notre Dame may be positioning themselves for a run to the playoffs at this point.

ND 52, UNLV 0

October 29 @ Syracuse Orange

Notre Dame has made up for the 2008 embarrassment a couple of times over. Now it’s time to rid themselves of the 2003 demon force.

ND 38, Cuse 17

November 5 VS Clemson Tigers

At this point in the season Tyler Buchner should be clicking on all cylinders (as a sophomore). Here’s hoping for a non-repeat of D.J. Uiagalelei’s record-setting performance of 2020.

ND 29, Clemson 27

November 12 @ Navy Midshipmen

It’s not really AT Navy. This series needs to be cancelled.

ND 47, Navy 10

November 19 VS Boston College Eagles

Phil Jurkovec returns to Notre Dame and the team remembers him well. Senior Day is still very much a better time than people remember.

ND 38, BC 20

November 26 @ USC Trojans

The trip to L.A. is always a little rough regardless of how good ND is or how not good USC is. They’re all still worthless and weak.

ND 23, USC 17

And there you have it. It’s a pretty brilliant 11-1 campaign for Marcus Freeman and the Irish. We will revisit this a few times over the offseason, but I 92% stand by every word.