The Anti-Preview: #7 Notre Dame Fighting Irish VS #8 Cincinnati Bearcats

For 14 years I have provided the most irrelevant game preview for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish — but I’ve also provide the most relevant fan preview for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish (don’t @ me).

SO LFG!

Notre Dame keeps winning — it’s almost like Brian Kelly’s greatest strength is that he knows how to win football games. Despite trailing by 3 points early in the 4th quarter, the Irish unleashed hell and scored 31 points to close it out. It was almost universally unimpressive for media members outside of South Bend.

Photo by Dan Sanger/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

So screw ‘em.

Cincinnati Bearcats

Have you guys seen this juggernaut play football? They’re sooooo good you guys. They ALMOST beat the Georgia Bulldogs in a bowl game last year which was really tough, because you know... Georgia was super excited to be there and was still dangerous with about 9 starters opting out of the game. Cincy took the L and has ran with it so far in 2021 against a brutal schedule of Miami-Ohio, Murray State, and Indiana. Of course they needed that bye week first... because they’re sooooo good you guys. Just ask Tony Pike.

What should you be drinking?

While this space is generally reserved for my humble drink recommendation — I’m going to alter this a little bit. I feel like I have to point this out... a Cincinnati Cocktail is watered down beer. Cincinnati waters down their beer like they were living in Utah. Cowards.

What should you be eating?

I’m not going to beat around the bush here. To be the villain — you have to shit where you eat sometimes. Obviously Skyline Chili is a main character this week, so we can’t let the people down.

What should you be wearing?

Round 2. Too bad the team decided to not match though.

HAIKU

Hey Cincinnati,
The stadium can get loud
Have fun false-starting

3 reasons to hate Cincinnati

• Their AP ranking.
• Kenyon Martin.
• That they refuse to classify themselves as Notre Dame’s official farm team — so that just makes them liars.

At the end of the day...

Despite a long history of respect and love for the Cincinnati program, I can’t seem to be overly frightened of them as a team. Why are they good? How many Power 5 programs have they played over the last two years and how well did they play against them? You already know the answers, and I’ve already gave my prediction. Notre Dame 38, Cincy 17.

Twitter @downtheline1842