Most of us were expecting the 2020 NFL Draft to get a little weird at times. I think most of us even thought it might have a glitch or two. After all, the coronavirus pandemic forced this draft away from the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas, and into the homes players and coaches and executives.
It was going to be different — and it was definitely... “different.”
It was some of the most fun I have had watching a first round with no Notre Dame Fighting Irish players selected. Here’s a short run down of how the night went down — well the parts that mattered anyways...
My thoughts watching the ESPN broadcast
The first pick took basically forever to be called and of course it was Joe Burrow to the Bengals. I was more worried about a lack of noise.
WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE IF THERE ARE NO CHIMES?— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
Phrasing is important, and always will be. So after a couple of linemen go early, anything other than “the big boys” or “hogs” or whatever else — well that will catch my attention.
"Run on THICCness"— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
I remember Tua Tagovailoa talk about being spanked by his parents when I saw their reaction to him being picked #5 overall. It obviously wasn’t #1 overall.
Tua's parents remain unimpressed.— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
I should have known the draft was going to take some wild turns when I left the Home Run Inn pizza in the freezer and pulled out this rectangular monstrosity.
For me, this is the equivalent of an Al Davis pick. pic.twitter.com/RpobFozbd6— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
The Raiders truly are outlaws that don’t give AF about what you think. Want to know what they think? Well, here’s Jon Gruden’s draft board. ENHANCE... ENHANCE...
Jon Gruden’s background is the Raiders draft board pic.twitter.com/3Ikl5mXZkG— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) April 24, 2020
Why was Henry Ruggs III the forst WR off of the board? It wasn’t because of his blazing 40 yard dash time. It’s because he’s the only one smart enough to know how to dress at home.
Style tips from Ghostface Killah. https://t.co/aZxAY8k6wI— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
Speaking of smart wide receiver’s... CeeDee Lamb is also a smart one. The girl with the 8 inch heels and 13 inch dress sitting next to you tries to grab your phone — NOT SO FAST BABY!
It’s these lightning reflexes that will make Lamb a star pic.twitter.com/32UHAx6qq3— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) April 24, 2020
The internet is undefeated, and after we championed Lamb for being fast and smart for his actions with the lady next to him, her past is revealed. The Oklahoma Sooners athletic department is of one mind.
They really CeeDee Lamb's girlfriend IG already pic.twitter.com/6aRttvlVie— Fudge-V2 (@Adfudge113) April 24, 2020
The draft reminds me that not only are we saying goodbye to these college athletes — they’re going to a strange new land that will squash them like a bug.
No. Reagor sounds familiar because if you watch college football, you're like "yeah that fast ass WR from TCU."— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
I HATE YOU NFL PEOPLE WITH EVERY FUCKING BIT OF DAD BOD ENERGY THAT I HAVE
ESPN had no idea that they dissed themselves so badly when they talked about Jordan Jefferson being a ZERO star recruit out of high school.
ESPN didn't give Jefferson any stars in HS because it's a crackerjack operation.— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
Joey, do you like movies about Gladiators?
Aaron Rodgers just got Aaron Rodgered— One Foot Down (@OneFootDown) April 24, 2020
It’s hits different in Arizona.
It hits with an entire bottle of LSD in Tennessee.
What the heck is going on at Vrabel's house??? pic.twitter.com/0EeSCQCKpv— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) April 24, 2020
But wait a minute... is that guy pooping back there or am I REALLY tripping hard on that LSD?
Our greatest hopes for Vrabel’s war room were crushed with another tweet. RIP Poopy Titan Office.
He does NOT appear to be in the bathroom, stand down pic.twitter.com/pdN4ehgcvk— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) April 24, 2020
What a night for girlfriends just trying to lift their man up — and then momma lifts their ass up.
This first round was pure comedy. Idk what was better, Ceedee Lamb’s girl trying to grab his phone or Isaiah Wilson’s girl getting snatched up on national television— Tini (@EmWatler) April 24, 2020
And man... that was just a sliver of all of the gold from Thursday night.
IN JOYOUS CONCLUSION
I propose that the NFL Draft is done in VIRTUAL MODE every single year. It was just too good, and much more entertaining than year’s past. We just went down a rabbit hole that had different shafts to about different players and coaches safe spaces, and it was magnificent.
No one can sto — oh shit. We’ve been spotted by the evil villain from his boat lair.