The Anti-Preview: #8 Notre Dame Fighting Irish VS #19 Michigan Wolverines

Welcome to YOUR Notre Dame Fighting Irish Anti-Preview people! That’s right — this is for you. If you’re unfamiliar with how these things work, this isn’t meant to serve as a TRUE preview (hence the name and the reason I employ Pat). It’s here to serve you food, drink, clothes, and enough knowledge to use so you won’t die 10 minutes after you leave the house.

The wonderful @phillykelly

I’m your internet father — obey me. ON TO THE ANTI-PREVIEW!

Michigan Wolverines

I know it’s weird. Notre Dame and Michigan will play in October for the first time since 1943. Usually this is the first or second game of the year, and for a lot of years, it’s a game that has been a measuring stick for fans to use for the rest of the season.

The Skunkbears aren’t quite the paper tiger the media makes them out to be every year. I mean — they were in the beginning of the season; but after a poor performance against Army, a blowout loss via the Wisconsin Badgers, and last week’s failure against the Penn State Nittany Lions — this is a team on the ropes.

It’s a fine line between a team fighting back and a team ready to fall flat on its face, but that’s where Jim Harbaugh and his team is right now. Fortunately for Irish fans, Notre Dame is healthy, well-rested, and hungry to bury Michigan in the cold hard ground of Canada’s Alabama.

It’s a slightly similar situation as what Notre Dame faced against USC.

What should you be drinking?

There is only one possible answer this week... IT’S FUCK MICHIGAN 40’S WEEK Y’ALL!

That’s right, grab your favorite malt beverage and prepare yourself for war with that state up north. While I love suggesting different liquors and mixed drinks to people, I hate beer snobbery and people telling people what beer to drink because yours sucks and theirs is a sophisticated masterpiece of hops and chocolate and oatmeal and bullshit from organic bulls and blah blah blah... pick your own 40. I enjoy Mickeys. Many years ago Brendan McAlinden mailed me a Mickey’s coozie for my 40s. It’s pretty dope.

Stay safe out there!

What should you be eating?

This dish is one of the pure classics when it comes to the Anti-Preview cuisine. There are many, many ways to make this succulent plate of heaven, but I’m going to show you how I make it best.

Sausage and Fried Apples.

• 3 lbs. of Eckrich skinless Sausage
• 5 Apples (any kind you like bozo)
• Butter
• 3 shots of Jack Daniels
• 1/4 cup of Brown Sugar

Put some butter in a big pan. Lots of butter. Slice up your apples and put them in the pan. Now take a shot of Jack Daniels and put it down your throat. Take the other two shots and the brown sugar and put it in the pan. Fry it all up for about 5 minutes on high. Slice your sausage up in threes and put it in the pan for 5 minutes while stir-frying it all. Take the contents of that pan and put in a crock pot. Heat on low for 2 hours. Serve. Send all thank-yous to my email.

What should you be wearing?

We are getting pretty close to Halloween, and many towns will have Trick-or-Treat hours this weekend. In that spirit... might I suggest a mask?

I prefer this one from @phillykelly because it’s just the best.

STATS ON STATS ON STATS

3 Reasons to hate Michigan

Like 3 is enough...

1. Fielding Yost was a bigoted asshole.
2. Bo Shembechler is the most overrated college football coach that has ever existed. The man went 2-8 in the Rose Bowl and never won a national championship — and yet he’s treated like a deity by the media.
3. Michigan’s “blue-blood” status. Why? What in the hell have they done other than suck?

Bonus: Desmond Howard

Keys to the game

This is simple — yet specific.

• Win the turnover battle. This series ALWAYS goes the way of the turnover.
• Keep Patterson in the pocket as much as possible.
• Stretch the field with a deep pass — like 4 or 5 shots.
• Tunnel vision. Can’t let the moment or the crowd affect play on the field.

At the end of the night...

Brian Kelly wants this game about as badly as any during his time at Notre Dame. This will be a team that is prepared and ready to execute at a high level throughout the night while Michigan will start to wear down until they eventually crack and spill out all over the turf. I just don’t think Michigan will have enough offense to keep up with a Notre Dame team that has been perfect inside the redzone this year. There will be a considerable difference in line play as well (in Notre Dame’s favor). Notre Dame 27 - Michigan 17.