National Signing Day: The Best Names in Notre Dame’s 2018 Class

Y’all already know this — I love amazing names. You probably noticed that when I put together my annual College Football Name of the Year Tournament this past fall.

In fact, I never finished that — so please quickly vote for the Finals of College Football Name of the Year now:

So with that out of the way, let’s quickly discuss the best names in Notre Dame’s 2018 class, and probably mention a few names I’ve seen elsewhere that just deserve to be mentioned for how amazing they are.

C’Bo Flemister

Is his first name pronounced “See-bow”? “S’bow”? “Cuh-bow”?

I have no idea, but that first name is sensational, and then add on a last name that makes me think of a fancy person with a lot of phlegm (phlegm + mister = flemister), and you’ve got yourself one of the best names in all of college football.

Tommy Tremble

This sounds like a comic book character -- and probably not the name of the hero or the bad guy, but maybe a small child who idolizes the hero and then is kidnapped by the villain?

That, or maybe it’s just his name because defensive players tremble in fear as he runs toward/past them for touchdowns. Either way, it’s a fantastic name and the alliteration only strengthens it.

Ovie Oghoufo

This one is just fun as hell to say, and the first name Ovie just seems like a name you can say super affectionately.

Hopefully Oghoufo’s play gives us the opportunity to say “Ohhhhh Ovie!!! <3 <3 <3” a lot over the next 4-5 seasons.

Jack Lamb

This just seems like the name of a character in a children’s cartoon about some town where all the citizens are different animals.

“Well if you’re looking for a new hat, head on down to Ole Jack Lamb’s haberdashery and he’ll fix you up!” (for some reason this is a multi-species animal town in the 1700s, I guess).

Ja’Mion

Mr. Franklin’s last name is very run-of-the-mill, but his first name is super fun and I can’t wait to hear broadcasters pronounce it about 10 different ways during his career (“Jam-ion,” “Juh-my-on,” “Jay-me-un,” etc., etc.)

Ademilola

It took me like 18 tries to memorize how to spell Jayson and Justin’s last name, and I still do not know how to pronounce it.

With that said, it’s a fun one and will lend itself well to long, drawn-out shouts of the name as we watch Jayson and Justin terrorize QBs for the next four years.

Shayne Simon

One alliteration

+ one unique spelling of “Shane”

+ a first name as a last name

= a fantastic name for the future at the Rover position.

Other Names From Around the Country I LOVE

I just love compiling lists of great names, so I scoured the ESPN.com and 247sports.com top 300-ish players to see what excellent names I could find.

I’m sure there are other amazing ones out there that I just didn’t have time to look up. Please leave them in the comments for this article so we can all bask in their greatness.

Here are the ones I found:

• Bumper Pool, Arkansas: The most fun-sounding name in history
• Justin Shorter, Penn State: A great prospect, but the best player in the family is his younger brother Justin Shortest
• Nicholas Petit-Frere, Ohio State: That’s a French-ass name, Nicholas
• DeMarvion Overshown, Texas: If he becomes a media darling who they talk about too much on ESPN, well, then that would be just perfect
• Amon-Ra St. Brown, USC: The best name of the three St. Brown brothers, IMO
• Ayodele Adeoye, Texas: Say that 10 times fast
• Sevyn Banks, Ohio State: Where do you keep your money, good sir? Sevyn Banks, just to be safe
• Colson Yankoff, Washington: LOL
• Jaylen Waddle, TBD: Jaylen almost slip on icy sidewalk, Jaylen Waddle, Jaylen avoid embarrassment
• Tuli Letuligasenoa, USC: Okay, seriously, say this even 2 times fast
• Steve Stephens, Oregon: Classic
• Quindarious Monday, Auburn: Can’t wait for him to become pals with Brodarious Hamm
• Atanza Vongor, TCU: Sounds like a warlord in Game of Thrones or something
• Lyn-J Dixon, Clemson: BIG fan of having a hyphen + one single, solitary letter added on to a first name
• Fabian Franklin, TCU: Just stupendous alliteration, again
• Merlin Robertson, TBD: This one is just magical
• L’Christian Smith, Ohio State: Same as Lyn-J, but with an apostrophe instead of a hyphen
• Divaad Wilson, Georgia: Hahahaha what??
• Mike Jones, Jr., Clemson: Still tippin’...
• Rafiti Ghirmai, Texas: One of my favorite characters in The Lion King
• Jalyn Armour-Davis, Alabama: Even stronger than Jalyn Davis
• Coynis Miller, Jr., Auburn: Did the Miller family alter the spelling of “coyness” and repurpose it as a name, and then name the next generation that as well??? Amazing.
• Cameron Rising, Texas: He has a brighter future than Cameron Setting
• Tennessee Pututau, Utah: Fantastic combination of Samoan last name and U.S. southern state as the first name
• Woodrow Lowe III, West Virginia: This man will be president someday with a name like that
• Zakoby McClain, Auburn: ZAKOBY!!!!!!!!
• Julius Irvin, Washington: Dr. J thought he could fool us by dropping the ‘g’
• Tank Jenkins, Texas A&M: This is the perfect name for an offensive lineman. It could only be more perfect if he actually drove/operated a tank
• Tevailance Hunt, TCU: Okay clearly Gary Patterson recruits on just name alone
• Kwatrivous Johnson, Mississippi State: ‘Kwatrivous’ just feels so nice rolling off the tongue
• Shaun Shivers, Auburn: Shaun really should have brought a jacket.
• Ricky Person, NC State: Who’s that Ricky Person?
• Mario Goodrich, Clemson: Hopefully he never breaks bad and becomes Mario Badrich
• Azeez Ojulari, Georgia: Talk about a fun name to say
• Mustapha Muhammmad, Michigan: Alliterative names can’t get much better than that
• Mychale Salahuddin, Pittsburgh: Please tell me that first name is just pronounced “Michael”
• Master Teague, Ohio State: We’ve seen Jeff Teague and Marquis Teague and Minnesota 2018 signee Elijah Teague, but this guy is the master!
• Iverson Clement, Florida: PLEASE TELL ME THIS KID IS NAMED AFTER ALLEN IVERSON
• Atrilleon Williams, Syracuse: That’s equivalent to 1,000 billion Williams, you guys
• Draco Bynum, Washington: DO NOT TRUST THIS GUY HE IS DEFINITELY A DEATH EATER IN TRAINING (or, alternatively, Draco Malfoy married into Andrew Bynum’s family and this is him)
• Kundarrius Taylor, Oklahoma: I don’t know, can Darrius Taylor?
• Judge Culpepper, Penn State: Thank you, your honor (imagines Daunte Culpepper in a judge’s outfit, complete with an old-timey powdered wig)
• Alex Reigelsperger, Minnesota: Okay so who do we have here? Alex? Okay okay, normal so far. And last name? REIGELSPERGER
• Tyneil Hopper, Boise State: I read this as Tiny Lil’ Hopper and pictured Jiminy Cricket
• Meechi Harris, Cincinnati: Had to get someone to replace Munchie Legaux on the roster