Y’all already know this — I love amazing names. You probably noticed that when I put together my annual College Football Name of the Year Tournament this past fall.
In fact, I never finished that — so please quickly vote for the Finals of College Football Name of the Year now:
Which name is best?
This poll is closed
Lion King (DL, Eastern Michigan)
Squally Canada (RB, BYU)
So with that out of the way, let’s quickly discuss the best names in Notre Dame’s 2018 class, and probably mention a few names I’ve seen elsewhere that just deserve to be mentioned for how amazing they are.
Is his first name pronounced “See-bow”? “S’bow”? “Cuh-bow”?
I have no idea, but that first name is sensational, and then add on a last name that makes me think of a fancy person with a lot of phlegm (phlegm + mister = flemister), and you’ve got yourself one of the best names in all of college football.
This sounds like a comic book character -- and probably not the name of the hero or the bad guy, but maybe a small child who idolizes the hero and then is kidnapped by the villain?
That, or maybe it’s just his name because defensive players tremble in fear as he runs toward/past them for touchdowns. Either way, it’s a fantastic name and the alliteration only strengthens it.
This one is just fun as hell to say, and the first name Ovie just seems like a name you can say super affectionately.
Hopefully Oghoufo’s play gives us the opportunity to say “Ohhhhh Ovie!!! <3 <3 <3” a lot over the next 4-5 seasons.
This just seems like the name of a character in a children’s cartoon about some town where all the citizens are different animals.
“Well if you’re looking for a new hat, head on down to Ole Jack Lamb’s haberdashery and he’ll fix you up!” (for some reason this is a multi-species animal town in the 1700s, I guess).
Mr. Franklin’s last name is very run-of-the-mill, but his first name is super fun and I can’t wait to hear broadcasters pronounce it about 10 different ways during his career (“Jam-ion,” “Juh-my-on,” “Jay-me-un,” etc., etc.)
It took me like 18 tries to memorize how to spell Jayson and Justin’s last name, and I still do not know how to pronounce it.
With that said, it’s a fun one and will lend itself well to long, drawn-out shouts of the name as we watch Jayson and Justin terrorize QBs for the next four years.
+ one unique spelling of “Shane”
+ a first name as a last name
= a fantastic name for the future at the Rover position.
Other Names From Around the Country I LOVE
I just love compiling lists of great names, so I scoured the ESPN.com and 247sports.com top 300-ish players to see what excellent names I could find.
I’m sure there are other amazing ones out there that I just didn’t have time to look up. Please leave them in the comments for this article so we can all bask in their greatness.
Here are the ones I found:
- Bumper Pool, Arkansas: The most fun-sounding name in history
- Justin Shorter, Penn State: A great prospect, but the best player in the family is his younger brother Justin Shortest
- Nicholas Petit-Frere, Ohio State: That’s a French-ass name, Nicholas
- DeMarvion Overshown, Texas: If he becomes a media darling who they talk about too much on ESPN, well, then that would be just perfect
- Amon-Ra St. Brown, USC: The best name of the three St. Brown brothers, IMO
- Ayodele Adeoye, Texas: Say that 10 times fast
- Sevyn Banks, Ohio State: Where do you keep your money, good sir? Sevyn Banks, just to be safe
- Colson Yankoff, Washington: LOL
- Jaylen Waddle, TBD: Jaylen almost slip on icy sidewalk, Jaylen Waddle, Jaylen avoid embarrassment
- Tuli Letuligasenoa, USC: Okay, seriously, say this even 2 times fast
- Steve Stephens, Oregon: Classic
- Quindarious Monday, Auburn: Can’t wait for him to become pals with Brodarious Hamm
- Atanza Vongor, TCU: Sounds like a warlord in Game of Thrones or something
- Lyn-J Dixon, Clemson: BIG fan of having a hyphen + one single, solitary letter added on to a first name
- Fabian Franklin, TCU: Just stupendous alliteration, again
- Merlin Robertson, TBD: This one is just magical
- L’Christian Smith, Ohio State: Same as Lyn-J, but with an apostrophe instead of a hyphen
- Divaad Wilson, Georgia: Hahahaha what??
- Mike Jones, Jr., Clemson: Still tippin’...
- Rafiti Ghirmai, Texas: One of my favorite characters in The Lion King
- Jalyn Armour-Davis, Alabama: Even stronger than Jalyn Davis
- Coynis Miller, Jr., Auburn: Did the Miller family alter the spelling of “coyness” and repurpose it as a name, and then name the next generation that as well??? Amazing.
- Cameron Rising, Texas: He has a brighter future than Cameron Setting
- Tennessee Pututau, Utah: Fantastic combination of Samoan last name and U.S. southern state as the first name
- Woodrow Lowe III, West Virginia: This man will be president someday with a name like that
- Zakoby McClain, Auburn: ZAKOBY!!!!!!!!
- Julius Irvin, Washington: Dr. J thought he could fool us by dropping the ‘g’
- Tank Jenkins, Texas A&M: This is the perfect name for an offensive lineman. It could only be more perfect if he actually drove/operated a tank
- Tevailance Hunt, TCU: Okay clearly Gary Patterson recruits on just name alone
- Kwatrivous Johnson, Mississippi State: ‘Kwatrivous’ just feels so nice rolling off the tongue
- Shaun Shivers, Auburn: Shaun really should have brought a jacket.
- Ricky Person, NC State: Who’s that Ricky Person?
- Mario Goodrich, Clemson: Hopefully he never breaks bad and becomes Mario Badrich
- Azeez Ojulari, Georgia: Talk about a fun name to say
- Mustapha Muhammmad, Michigan: Alliterative names can’t get much better than that
- Mychale Salahuddin, Pittsburgh: Please tell me that first name is just pronounced “Michael”
- Master Teague, Ohio State: We’ve seen Jeff Teague and Marquis Teague and Minnesota 2018 signee Elijah Teague, but this guy is the master!
- Iverson Clement, Florida: PLEASE TELL ME THIS KID IS NAMED AFTER ALLEN IVERSON
- Atrilleon Williams, Syracuse: That’s equivalent to 1,000 billion Williams, you guys
- Draco Bynum, Washington: DO NOT TRUST THIS GUY HE IS DEFINITELY A DEATH EATER IN TRAINING (or, alternatively, Draco Malfoy married into Andrew Bynum’s family and this is him)
- Kundarrius Taylor, Oklahoma: I don’t know, can Darrius Taylor?
- Judge Culpepper, Penn State: Thank you, your honor (imagines Daunte Culpepper in a judge’s outfit, complete with an old-timey powdered wig)
- Alex Reigelsperger, Minnesota: Okay so who do we have here? Alex? Okay okay, normal so far. And last name? REIGELSPERGER
- Tyneil Hopper, Boise State: I read this as Tiny Lil’ Hopper and pictured Jiminy Cricket
- Meechi Harris, Cincinnati: Had to get someone to replace Munchie Legaux on the roster