John Brown doesn’t do normal.
When it came to naming his children, John’s wife, Miriam, said her husband wouldn’t entertain any alternatives. His boys are Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J., who just left the Notre Dame Fighting Irish to prepare for the 2018 NFL Draft; Osiris Adrian Amen-Ra J., a rising sophomore with the Stanford Cardinal; and Amon-Ra Julian Heru J., an incoming freshman wideout for the USC Trojans.
“I started crying,” Miriam told Real Sports’ Bernard Goldberg, in a segment about the family that airs Tuesday on HBO. “I wished there would be a different name. I wouldn’t say it was devastating. It wasn’t devastating, but it was...”
“Not fun,” Goldberg suggests.
“Not fun,” Miriam echoes.
John said he wanted names that were “powerful.” The addition of “St.” to his surname, he claims, was because it would look unique on a jersey.
Notre Dame recruited all three St. Brown boys, so stories of their fluency in three languages (English, German and French) or their father’s pedigree (twice Mr. Universe, thrice Mr. World) may be old hat to rabid Irish readers.
Regardless, the segment offers a rare peek into the family home video chest and little tidbits that may have missed your radar — such as John Brown’s surrealist art creations or his penchant for creating women’s tops that sparkle.
Brown is a complicated human being. The segment’s occasional comparisons to LaVar Ball certainly don’t do him any favors; either does his constant hawking of his $42.99 Cane Protein creation.
There’s no doubt all three St. Brown boys are special talents, with many saying the youngest (Amon-Ra) has the most potential of them all. Even so, you can’t help but laugh when John says seriously that he’s anticipating $100 million shoe contracts for each child.
“Adidas is a German company. My sons are German,” he tells Goldberg. “I’ve got three boys and they’ve got three stripes. Why not?”
Odell Beckham Jr. owns the richest shoe contract among NFL players. It’s worth a reported $25 million over five years.
Just as we’re about to write off John as a obsessive kook, the last minute of the segment offers a different perspective not often seen or talked about. The moment alone is worth watching until the end.
Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel airs its 250th edition — and the first episode of its new season — at 10 p.m. Eastern and Pacific Tuesday on HBO.
Watch a two-minute preview of the segment here: