Well, it’s that time of year again. That time when the Notre Dame Fighting Irish lose to a ranked opponent by one score and our small, lonely planet feels like its going to topple over on its axis and hurl the entire town of South Bend, IN into a ceaseless void while all of its fans’ hopes, dreams and aspirations collapse into themselves like a dying star.

GOOD

Defense

The Irish defense showed improvement on Saturday, only letting up 20 points to an SEC offense. Yes, I know they had a freshman at QB, but Sony Michel and Nick Chubb are those types of SEC Speed RBs that make us northern folk quake in our boots. Drue Tranquill continues to own the rover position and the D-Line looks more confident.

The tackling is much more efficient this season too. Just LOOK @ this open field tackle on 3rd and 2. Didn’t see a lotta that last year.

Chris Finke

Finke is a walk-on and a fan-favorite. He made some big plays for the Irish and earned a promotion! One Foot Down called him the “Rudy of this generation.”

Field Goal Unit

Yoon was 4/4 this weekend (including a 42-yarder) which is only noteworthy as opening weekend vs. Temple was rather disappointing. NONETHELESS, it’s good to see improvement.

Silver Linings

Baker Mayfield absolutely, unequivocally earned the title Badass of the Week after planting the Oklahoma flag on the OSU 50-yard-line. OOOHHH BOYYYY did that cheer me up. If you can find any silver lining from Notre Dame's weekend it’s that that didn’t happen to us.

*sees USC home game on schedule and sobs*

Boston College

Hey! We play Boston College next weekend!

BAD STUFF

Brian. Kelly.

BRUH. COME ON. Stop being rude, condescending, and immature. Own up to your mistakes, answer the tough questions.

It’s easy! Your friend Bill Belichick does it.

The Ticket Scandal

In a moment of intense personal pain I may have threatened to fight a few Irish fans on Saturday night.

But while there may be multiple factors to blame (ND is a hot destination for traveling fans, tickets were expensive, yada yada yada) it was pretty apparent from the opening kickoff that Georgia fans definitely played a role in the game.

Nice, thanks Kirbs.

He’s right, though. For 4 quarters Notre Dame Stadium was a hostile environment. UGA fans were loud during Notre Dame's offensive possessions, even LOUDER when Notre Dame made mistakes, and out-cheered ND fans on kickoffs, returns, during breaks, turnovers and touchdowns. Those things matter in college football. They matter when you are playing an unfamiliar foe from a far-off conference, they matter when your quarterback is making only his second career start, they matter when it’s a night game, the lights are on, and the pressure is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

P.S. Please stop with the, “There weren’t that many Georgia fans, it just seemed like it because they wear red Takes.” I was too embarrassed to insta this cute af pic with my friend because of how many red jerseys were in the background.

Real talk: I won't blame Irish fans for wanting to make a lot of money off of a ticket. My dad gave me his tickets for free, so I didn’t have to deal with this r i d i c u l o u s ticket market.

And I can’t blame Georgia fans for wanting to take a road trip and visit Notre Dame for the first time. I can do nothing but give them props for absolutely showing us up.

I’m certainly not going to blame the team for going 4-8 last year. It’s week 2 of a brand new season with a lot of hard-working, extremely talented, (unpaid) student-athletes trying their hardest to turn things around after a bad year.

However, I will say is I’ve never felt more demoralized as a Notre Dame fan than leaving that stadium, completely surrounded by happy fans in red jerseys.

So whatever it takes my fellow fans, let’s not do that again.

OVERREACTING FANS

NOTRE DAME HAS OFFICIALLY LOST A GAME. ITS HOT TAKE SEASON.

IT’S WEEK TWO PEOPLE. LIGHTEN THE EVERLIVING FUCK UP.

IRISH

Georgia Fans

Throughout the decades I’ve met many visiting fans at Notre Dame Stadium. I’ve met Texas fans, Michigan fans, Pitt fans, sad little Purdue fans, etc. Georgia fans may have been the nicest.

By far my favorite encounter with a Georgia fan was at the Grotto, and pardon me for painting a picture of a very stereotypical fan, but this story is BARELY embellished for effect.

SCENE:

Early Evening. The day’s last light sinks behind the trees over the placid Saint Mary’s Lake. The Grotto’s candles flicker in the gentle fall breeze. Visitors quietly light candles and admire the sacred sanctuary. A small prayer circle murmurs the Rosary in unison and a few prayerful devotees kneel before the statue of Mary, silently reflecting.

ENTER:

Georgia fan in red jersey, barreling towards the holy site.

“IS THIS HERE THE GRAW-TO?”

“TAKE A PICKCHA OF ME PRAYUN”

"D’YOU GET A PICCHAH OF ME PRAYIN?"

“WHAT’S THIS HERE? A BAPTISMAL FONT.”

"HA HA. SO THIS IS THE GRAW TO."

Somehow, most attendees managed to ignore this eager fan... except for a friend of mine who stormed away muttering under her breath, “Yes, it’s the Grotto, it’s blessed with holy water from fucking LOURDES."

The moment my soul was crushed and my heart shattered into a million pieces:

As a NEW YORKAH, this was likely my last home game for the season. So I stuck around through victory formation to hear the alma mater and sing it with my bestie who just moved to the west coast. Thought it’d be a pleasant way to end a sad game. BUT THE GEORGIA FANS WERE SO DAMN LOUD WE COULDN’T HEAR OUR OWN BAND.

So we just kinda stood there for a minute and watched everyone else .............i guess see you next fall, south bend......... s

On a lighter note, I leave you with this tiny gif of Justin Tuck tackling the leprechaun.