It’s almost time. The days are getting a little shorter. Soon, the kiddies will be off to school. You’re starting to regret all the things you didn’t do in June and July when you had all those free weekends. It’s August, folks. Football is in the air and it’s so close we can almost taste it. But it isn’t QUITE here yet, which is why it’s HOT TAKE SEASON. Football is mere weeks away and we NEED to talk about it, but no games have actually been played yet so let’s all get off as many wacky, wild and outrageous takes as we can before it starts!
I’ve organized some of my favorite offseason hot takes into a few categories.
The irrelevant, made up hot take
One Foot Down’s very own Joshua Vowles did a pretty good job breaking this one down, but it’s still a doozy. The Wisconsin Badgers and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish? Who’s even comparing the two? Are we really that much out of things to say?
The imaginatively pessimistic hot take
Notre Dame will go 3-9. Brian Kelly will attach a rocket to Touchdown Jesus and blast off to the moon.— Dylan Jenkins (@THEDeeJenks) August 8, 2017
3-9? Yikes. 3-9 AND our beautiful newly renovated library shot into outer space while Brian Kelly rides along a la Dr. Strangelove? Now that is a WILD HOT TAKE.
The pessimistic yet lukewarm take
6-6 L's unc, USC, nc state, Miami, navy, furd . Kelly fired— Nando (@nando1287) August 5, 2017
The cousin of the wildly pessimistic hot take is the very pessimistic lukewarm take. This guy predicts a very average season for the Irish, albeit, a season with two more wins than last season. 6-6? Eh, honestly after going 4-8 I’d take it. Losing to NC State two years in a row, though? That take is a lil too spicy for me. Other than that, good for you random twitter dude, this was one of the least offensive tweets I’ve read lately.
The overly-optimistic hot take
55-17. This offense will be BEST offense under Chip Long, I mean.... Kelly. Will surpass 2015 offense that averaged 34 plus a game— notredamegrad04 (@notredamegrad04) July 13, 2017
This optimistic Notre Dame fan thinks we will surpass 34 points per game this season. I like where his head’s at. But going so far as to say it’ll surpass the 2015 offense before we’ve even seen our starting quarterback take a snap seems a little TOO optimistic. #TeamWimbush though.
MORE BAD FOX SPORTS HOT TAKES
Brady, my dude, I love you for standing up for our school but can we all just agree to ignore Colin Cowherd from now on?
Can the season just start already?