Whether you are watching the Notre Dame Fighting Irish play the North Carolina Tar Heels at a bar, with a group of friends, or sneakily on your phone while a family member is getting married, (definitely not speaking from experience ... Sorry Ben and Megan), you are surrounded by certain fan personas, both good and bad. They create the atmosphere, which can range from friendly and electric, to painful and irksome (what a word!). Despite the plethora of great experiences, I have been surrounded by certain people who make the game purely painful to experience. With that said, I present to you ... Philly G’s list of the Worst People to Watch a Notre Dame Football Game with. Please Vote in the poll below, and comment on any that I may have missed ... And whether there are any of these qualities that you may or may not embody.
1. The Analyst — This persona genuinely believes that they would add significant value if they were the guest picker on GameDay. Their confidence and egos are through the roof, and listening to them “predict” every single play makes my ears bleed. Additionally, they think the entire room wants to hear their breakdown of every series and are convinced they should be making the calls. But the WORST is when they finally predict something right, and confidently announce to the room “I CALLED IT!” (My wife says I am this person.)
2. The Optimist — This persona has blind faith that the the Irish will always “find a way”. We may be down by 3 touchdowns with a minute left and they will vocalize that we can score quickly, recover the onsite kick for a touchdown, and then score again. Granted, this thought always goes through every fan's head, but these psychos believe it. What is worse is that after every loss (I prefer to gripe and be upset), they will map out how we can win out the rest of the season. Again, the WORST is when we finally have a miracle comeback (like MSU 2005), and they stand up, point at you, and say “I KNEW IT!”
3. The Pessimist — This persona reminds you over and over again that they knew we didn’t stand a chance in the National Championship vs. the Alabama Crimson Tide. If the second the game turns South, they start complaining about the coaches, the play calls, and the players themselves. They always dive into who we should fire and what play calls that aren't being called would definitely work. They always refer to the days of Lou and say that today’s team “can’t tackle” and is “soft.” These personas suck the energy out of the room, and like a Dementor, feed off of the negative energy of those around them.
4. The Overly Enthusiastic Uneducated “Fan” — They show up with “The Shirt” on, garnished with ND stickers and or tattoos on their cheeks. They cheer loudly just about a second after everyone else and make audible “UGHs” when they see others react to a poor play. They yell random things they’ve heard before, such as “Why cant we just score these touchdowns?!” and “We should have just tried for that interception!!” The problem is not these statements, but the force in which they deliver the overly enthusiastic jargon. They hope to be the center of attention, but I wish they would go kick rocks outside.
5. The High Five/Fist bump guy — You typically see these strangers at bars by themselves. They are on the outside of your group, but weasel their way in and always end up sitting right next to you. They immediately refer to Notre Dame as “we” and just wait with eager hands for the first good play. They turn to you and give you a hard high five, an exploding fist bump, and — God help us — an awkward hug. You have no escape, and they always want to partake in events such as “shot per score.” These people will begin to utter things like "What are 'we' doing after the game?" Big piece of advice: leave the bar, go to your couch, and catch the Pac-12 game.
6. The Anti-Fan — This fan hates Notre Dame. They will show up and constantly blurt out the opposing teams slogan ... “Go Dawgs ... Hook 'em ... Fight on ...” They mimic the cheers and hand signals, and even look for opposing fans to celebrate with. They will say things like “things aren't looking too good for your Irish.” They even enter your work with shitty comments like “Tough weekend for the Irish, huh?” and then fist bump their cube-monkey friend, whose name is probably Chet.
7. Other — Please comment below!
Who is your LEAST favorite person to watch an ND game with?
This poll is closed
The Overly Enthusiastic, Undereducated "fan"
High Five/Fist Bump Guy
Other-Please Comment below!
HOT TAKE: We will have a QB throw for over 200 yards.
With Brandon Wimbush’s foot not at 100%, we will see a more balanced attack from the quarterback position. We will absolutely feed the combination of Josh Adams, Dexter Williams and company (barring problems with their health), but this is an opportunity to get Wimbush more comfortable in the pocket with his mobility possibly limited. We will also see a lot of Ian Book, hopefully for the entire second half. The coaching staff will want to limit the wear and tear of the all the backs this week, as we need a full deck for USC.
COLD TAKE: Kevin Stepherson will have a long touchdown
Last year, this would not have been much of a take at all, but with the confusion surrounding his playing time, he has barely gotten onto the field. The expectation will be that we have a solid lead, which will lend itself to more playing time for #29. I think Ian Book will be eager to make an impact, and he will have a weapon at his disposal who has a lot to prove. Queue the tape ...