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College Football Name of the Year - First Round Recap

Major Upsets and the Dominance of Equanimeous St. Brown.

NCAA Football: Notre Dame Spring Game Matt Cashore-USA TODAY Sports

The first round of voting saw 32 college football players advance to the second round, including Notre Dame wideout Equanimeous St. Brown

The first round of voting for the 2016 College Football Name of the Year championship is officially complete, and the results speak for themselves.

I’m here to recap the action from the past week, but first, I want to provide you all with the link to the 2nd round voting form, where you can continue to support your favorite names as they advance farther into the bracket.

Now, let’s get on to a recap of the first round, which saw action, suspense, major upsets, and general rowdiness as 133 people voted on the 32 match-ups. Here are some highlights:

Upset City

It probably says more about my ability to properly seed these names than anything else, but there were quite a few upsets in the first round of this tournament. Namely (FIRST, AND HOPEFULLY LAST, UNINTENDED NAME PUN OF THIS ARTICLE - LET’S GO!!!), we saw 10 out of 32 head-to-head votes fall in favor of the lesser seed, with two 9-seeds, three 10-seeds, two 12-seeds, two 13-seeds, and one 15-seed emerging victorious.

The biggest upset of the round certainly came from 15th-seeded Washington WR Chico McClatcher, who upended Arkansas State DE Dee Liner, a heavily-favored 2-seed due to his name’s uncanny resemblance to his position. This one had shades of Florida Gulf Coast over Georgetown in 2013, as it really wasn’t even close:

Other lower-seeded names to vanquish their favored opponents: Manly Williams, Doroland Dorceus, Bishop Louie, Damore’ea Stringfellow, Man Berg, Wolfgang Zacherl, Naquez Pringle, Money Hunter, and Jet Toner. Well played on making me look like a fool, you guys.

Manly Beats Gentle and Frederick is Rowdier Than Simon

There were a few very intriguing “rivalry” match-ups in this first round, as the selection committee (me) had a lot of fun pitting some similar names against each other.

In the Barkevious Mingo Region, Manly Williams (DL, Hawaii) took on Gentle Williams (OG, California) in the ultimate battle between sensitivity and machismo. The general public has officially spoken, giving Manliness the clear edge.

In the same region, two teammates from Tulsa faced off in the ultimate battle of rambunctiousness, with OG Rowdy Frederick being forced to defeat his teammate and probable partner-in-crime, RB Rowdy Simon.

Clearly, although on the surface both seem rowdy, Fred’s got a lot more of that wild side than Simon. Can’t say I disagree.

Poor Mac Loudermilk Gets Let Down Again

I went through this same name-ranking exercise last year (but instead of holding a tournament, just ranked my top 25 names), and of course had to leave a few worthy candidates out. One of those worthy names was that of Mac Loudermilk, a punter for Central Florida.

I felt bad last year, because Mac was, ostensibly, the most notable person to read my article at all, and was even a very good sport about being left off the final list.

So, when this year’s competition came around, I sent Mac a quick tweet to let him know he was in the running this year and had a chance to win it all.

Then, this happened.

I feel terrible and want to cry. I have failed Mr. Loudermilk again. I showed him something he couldn’t have last year, gave him hope for this year, reminded him of the opportunity last week, and then brought the dream crashing down around him before he could even realize what happened.

Everyone please go follow Mac on Twitter and give him some love. He deserves better from me and from us. We can do better. #MacLoudermilkStrong #MacLoudermilkIsAnAwesomeName

The Immaculate Perfection Harris Region Was Complete Chalk

I don’t know if I have any real conclusions to draw from this, except that maybe this was the only region I actually seeded correctly.

No matter the lessons to be learned here, we gotta tip our hats to the region that bears the moniker of a guy literally named “Immaculate Perfection.” That’s just super neat and immaculate and perfect.

Other Quick-Hitting Factoids About Round One

  • I spelled Brodarious Hamm’s first name as “Brodarius” for the majority of this election cycle, and so the results for his match-up were split between three names instead of two. Luckily, I was able to do some advanced analysis and combine all the Brodarius and Brodarious votes together and he easily earned his spot in the final 32.
  • I know it’s a vote being hosted by a Notre Dame sports site whose audience is mostly Notre Dame fans, but Equanimeous St. Brown was BY FAR the most dominant name in the first round, earning 96.2% of the vote against poor Osiris Crutchfield of Virginia, who never stood a chance. With that kind of biased fan support, look for St. Brown to make a strong run in this tournament, laying waste to any and all inferior names to oppose him. Corn Elder is next on his war path.
  • Memphis RB Doroland Dorceus toppled Boston College P Satchel Ziffer in the closest vote, garnering 67 votes compared to Ziffer’s 66. It’s a heartbreaking finish for Ziffer, but talk about an exciting buzzer beater by Dorceus, the giant killer and personal favorite name of one of my friends:

This is why they call it August Madness, folks.

With all of that being said, please go to the link at the top of the article and vote for the 2nd round, so we can move closer to being able to rightfully crown the greatest name in college football this season!