The College Football Name of the Year Elite Eight

Equanimeous St. Brown, Lion King, Dicaprio Bootle among final eight names remaining

By Pat Rick@Psully226 Aug 23, 2016, 2:29pm EDT

NCAA Football: Georgia Southern at Georgia — Ironhead Gallon hopes to continue his run in his Elite Eight match-up with Sequoyah Rakestraw, who hopes instead to stiff-arm Gallon on his way to the Final Four.

The general public has spoken, and the Google Forms I have been creating for this ultimate name-tournament-of-name-tournaments have listened. Now, we have the Elite Eight of college football names for the 2016-2017 season.

The Elite Eight Match-Ups

These are the names names within each region that will go head-to-head for a shot at the Final Four, which will be hosted in Indianapolis* and sponsored by Hamm’s Premium and Totino’s.**

*Note: Patently untrue

**Another Note: These two companies have not been contacted about sponsoring this event. They just seem like the right sponsors, though.

Barkevious Mingo Region

1 seed Lion King (DL, Eastern Michigan) vs. 3 seed Joey Magnifico (TE, Memphis)

Yourhighness Moore Region

1 seed Dicaprio Bootle (DB, Nebraska) vs. 2 seed Brodarious Hamm (OG, Auburn)

D’Brickashaw Ferguson Region

6 seed Equanimeous St. Brown (WR, Notre Dame) vs. 9 seed Money Hunter (SS, Arkansas State)

Immaculate Perfection Harris Region

1 seed Ironhead Gallon (LB, Georgia Southern) vs. 6 seed Sequoyah Rakestraw (WR, Colorado)

Here is the voting form to select your Final Four participants.

Here is an updated bracket for this tournament.

And here are the voting results from the Sweet 16.

All I have to say at this point, is please share this with all of your friends and family and coworkers and neighbors and casual acquaintances and favorite celebrities and local government officials and pets and imaginary friends and anyone else you think should exercise their civic duty and vote for the best name in college football this year.

Also, RIP Q’Drennan and Rojesterman Farris II. You deserved better than what I was able to give you with your tough Sweet 16 match-ups.