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Trick Shot Wednesday: Conference Championship Week 2015

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Ring in the Advent season by waiting in joyful hope for the bowl projections.

Torii Hunter, Jr. dashes with the football.
Torii Hunter, Jr. dashes with the football.
Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

In the Catholic Church, the First Sunday of Advent is the equivalent of New Year's Day in the liturgical year. Candles are placed in windows, purple vestments and cloths appear in churches, little Advent calendars filled with chocolates are purchased, and folks' electricity bills will soon be shooting through the roof.

Yet amid this 4-week season of "waiting in joyful hope" for the birth of Christ, many of the Notre Dame faithful are feeling a bit crestfallen and hopeless after Stanford squeaked by the Irish on a last-second field goal. But while the loss will certainly sting for a while, let's remind ourselves that despite suffering a ludicrous slew of injuries and two incredibly close road losses, our boys still won an incredible ten games. TEN GAMES. That's, like, TWICE AS MANY AS FIVE GAMES. So rejoice and be glad in this hour, dear friends--because I have a feeling that we'll be getting an 11th win about a week after Christmas.

Last Week's Winners

Y'all were pretty quiet last week in the post-Boston College TSW. Our runner-up for the floating leprechaun gag was tlndma, with a nod to the nuttiness of our win over BC:

--But this week's victory belonged to rudy8655, with his (criminally under-rec'd, IMHO) lovely cover of "If I Were a Rich Man." I shall re-write it here in all its glory:

"O Dear Lord, you made many, many poor defenses.
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor.
But it's no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I had a Shut-Down-Corner?"

If I were a football man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum,
If I were a defenseman.
I wouldn't have to win the game at the end.
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
If I were a biddy biddy football,
Idle-diddle-daidle-daidle man.

I'd build a big tall house with yards by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town.
A fine open roof with real turf field below.
There would be one long mural just going up,
And a goal post coming down,
And one large video board, just for show.

I'd fill my yard with Ends and Tackles and Backs and Safeties
For the town to see and hear.
Tackling just as perfect as they can.
With each loud "int" "fumble" "tackle" "sack"
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
As if to say "Here lives a Championship Team."

If I were a football man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a defenseman.
I wouldn't have to win the game at the end.
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
If I were a biddy biddy football,
Idle-diddle-daidle-daidle man.

I'd see my Coach, my Kelly, looking like a Coach of the Year
With a proper Purple Face.
Supervising touchdowns to his heart's delight.
I see him putting on tweeds and strutting like a peacock.
Oy, what a happy mood he's in.
Screaming at the referees, day and night.

The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them,
Like a Saban the Wise.
"If you please, Leprechaun..."
"Pardon me, Leprechaun..."
Posing problems that would cross a player's eyes!

And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.
When you're a champion, they think you really know!

If I were a champion, I'd have the time that I lack
To sit on the field and play.
And maybe have a sack in the north end zone.
And I'd discuss the playbooks with the learned men, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were a football man,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a defenseman.
I wouldn't have to win the game at the end.
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
If I were a biddy biddy football,
Idle-diddle-daidle-daidle man.

Lord who made the BCS and the CFP,
You decreed I should be what I am.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan
If we were a Championship Team?

Bravo, sir. Bravo.

Poll Results

Last week being Thanksgiving, we floated a food-related poll, and the Commentariat rose to the challenge.

To the shock of many, beer came in second place to stuffing. Looks like everyone else got...stuffed. //ducks

This Week's Entry

I'll be frank with y'all--the photo gallery was pretty slim pickings this week. That being said, I will not be the least bit surprised when you folks take this photo of Torii Hunter, Jr. being tackled(?) and turn it into comedy gold with some good captions or Photoshops. Let's see whatcha got.

GO IRISH, BEAT...CONFERENCE AFFILIATION!!