Five Wide Fullbacks: Sunday Morning Coming Down

The Mouth Of The South brings you this week's Five Wide Fullbacks roundtable discussion from the depths of a Sunday-morning post-Saturday-basketball-binge hangover.

If you could have named this Five Wide Fullbacks something else, what would you have named it?

Well it's raining here in north Texas, so "Sunday Morning Rain is Fallin... Like So Many Irish Threes," would have been another nice musically-themed title. Unfortunately, however, only the "raining" and "Sunday morning" themes would be appropos. While I'm sad that this weekend's theme was decidedly not Irish threes falling and I like my Maroon 5 as much as the next guy, I think everyone would agree that The Man In Black and Kris Kristofferson trump Maroon 5 any day of the week and.. wait for it... twice on Sunday.

How much fun was the Big East Tournament?

With the way the Irish limped in to the finish line, I wasn't extremely optimistic about our chances in the Big East Tourney. We just don't have the depth to down three quality opponents in three nights. We weren't shooting the ball well, and Jack Cooley just cannot do it all down low, nor should we expect him to just because his initials are J.C. Our legs just caught up with us, and it's hard to fault such a young team for that. Any more success these Irish have this season will just be straight up gravy. Next year we'll hopefully have the current team plus Abro and some STUD freshmen. Next year.

What should the Irish do if they do not shoot the ball well in the tourney and our opponent(s) (a) realize that all they need to do is shut down Jack Cooley and (b) do in fact proceed to shut down said Jack Cooley?

Well, it's Lent, so they could pray

What player from another team do you really really wish was Irish?

Anthony Davis or Thomas Robinson. Haha, just kidding. I don't think either of those guys would work out at ND. They're too big and too athletic with too-good ball skills. Little known fact--Notre Dame is prohibited by NCAA regulations from recruiting athletic players taller than 6'9". But seriously, it's been so long since we've had a big, athletic post presence. I realize that it's tough for us to recruit those guys, and that Brey therefore takes a different approach in structuring his offense and recruiting, so I say give me Tyler Zeller from UNC. Homeboy moves well, rebounds, and just straight up goes to work in the post. I'm partial to the big guys due to ND's decade-long big-guy drought, so yeah, give me some T-Zell. Either him, or a physical, aggressive, penetrating guard. I'm a sucker for a good floater, and Peyton Siva just smoked us, so I'll go ahead and say Peyton Siva. Also, his hair looks like plastic, which is cool. Finally, the Mouth has been known to play a little pick up basketball, and as a 5-foot-9-and-a-half recovering fat kid, I know what it's like to be the short guy and having to shoot over the big men. So I think Peyton and I could be friends if he decides to return my calls. Get at me once the tournament is over, Peyton. Not returning my calls and texts--that's so Peyton.

Take us out with your favorite Jack Donaghy quote.

I couldn't pass up a Jack Donaghy quotes discussion this week. While Jack Donaghy has given us greats like "don't ever badmouth synergy," and "the Six Pillars of the Six Sigma Business Philosophy: Teamwork; Insight; Brutality; Male Enhancement; Handshakefulness; and Play Hard," he outdid himself this week when discussing how he wanted to vanquish his new teenage-girl nemesis:

"I could get her expelled, sent off to some second rate boarding school, then onto that last bastion of the incompetent rich, U.S.C."

Well done, Jacky D, well done.

What say our loyal readers? Drop some Donaghy on us.