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Football Food- Tortilla Chips and Dips

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Last week I kicked off this series of posts and Bob Diaco cracked the code on shutting down the Navy Offense.  Coincidence?  I suppose that his comprehensive study of the Scouting Report that The Coach published right here at OFD might have had a little something to do with it too.

For our next installment in the football food series I am going to talk about something that everyone loves.  Tortilla Chips and their assorted dips.  You can buy prepackaged versions of what I think of as the big three, but the recipes below all blow the doors off of anything that you can buy at the store.  They are all easy to make and will impress the hell out of everyone that you watch games with this weekend.

Recipes after the jump.


Salsa is the old tortilla chip standby.  This recipe stands alone and is also an ingredient in the next two recipes. Hence, it is the cornerstone of all the goodness I am about to expose you to.  There are a million versions of salsa out there but I am a firm believer that any prepackaged salsa that you can buy at the grocery store is inadequate for human consumption.  I have played around with assorted salsa recipes and found this one to be the best.  As an added bonus this recipe is quick, easy and primarily utilizes prepackaged ingredients.


1/4 medium sized white onion

2 oz diced Hot green chiles (these come in little 4oz cans)

2 oz diced Hot jalapenos (these come in little 4oz cans)

1 garlic clove

1 can Original RoTel

1 14.5 oz can steamed and peeled tomatoes

1 pinch sugar


Throw the onion, green chiles, jalapenos and garlic clove into a food processor and puree. If you don't have a food processor a blender works too it just takes longer. Once the puree is done add a pinch of sugar to take the edge off and puree it for another couple of seconds. We want this salsa to be relatively smooth not chunky.

Add all of the Tomatoes and RoTel. Puree until all of the lumps are gone. This is going to give you a nice smooth texture with great flavor and medium heat.  For a heat reference I have young kids and they crush this stuff.  To adjust the heat simply adjust the amount of the green chiles and jalapenos that you use in the initial puree.

Once this stuff is done it will keep in your refrigerator for a couple of weeks.  The preservatives in the prepackaged ingredients come in handy here.

Hearty Queso

This is not your average cheese dip.  Chunky Soup stole their tagline from this concoction as it definitely eats like a meal.  Just be sure to have plenty of people around when you whip up a batch of this stuff because you won't be able to peel yourself away from it until it is all gone.


Velveeta (Standard 16oz package)

1 Can RoTel

4-5 Heaping Tablespoons of the salsa above

1lb hamburger meat

2 oz taco seasoning

1 white onion

2 oz Milk


Bust out your crock pot and put a splash of milk in the bottom.  2 oz is a rough swag for the splash.  This will help the initial meltdown.  Cube the Velveeta and dump it in the crock pot.  Dump the can of RoTel on top and turn the crock pot up on high.  Stir this periodically as the Velveeta melts.

While that is melting down cube the white onion and set it to the side.  Brown the hamburger meat and add in the taco seasoning.  When it is almost done mix in the white onion and cook it in until the onions are soft.  When it is done drain to taste and set this to the side.  The onion and the taco seasoning give this hamburger meat some serious flavor.

Once your Velveeta is fully melted and hot add the salsa and stir that in.  This will give you a little extra kick.  To keep it closer to the mild side forego the salsa addition.  Finally double check that the Velveeta is completely melted and stir in the hamburger meat.

*The onion, taco seasoning and salsa are all optional.  They add great flavor with relatively minimal spice, but if you are a milder type or walk around all the time with a bottle of Tums you might want to tone these three ingredients down a bit.


I hope that I'm not teasing anyone too badly with this last one.  I live in SoCal and there is an avocado farm less than a mile from my house so I almost always have them around.  I realize that elsewhere finding avocados this time of year might cost more than tickets to the LSU vs. Bama game.  If so revisit this one next summer.


4 medium sized avocados

1 heaping tablespoon of Miracle Whip OR Sour Cream OR Plain Yogurt (Pick your flavor).

4-5 heaping tablespoons of the salsa mentioned above

1 splash lemon juice

Salt to taste

1 tomato


Cut the 4 avocados in half, remove the pits and scoop out the meat.  Save the pits!  More on that in a minute.  Put the meat of the avocado in your food processor with the scoop of Miracle Whip/ Sour Cream/ Plain Yogurt.  These three ingredients all add a little volume and give you a creamy texture.  All three obviously give you a slightly different slant on the flavor.  I prefer Miracle Whip, the wife prefers Sour Cream, we often compromise with Plain Yogurt.  Run your food processor until this mixture has a relatively smooth texture.

Add in the salsa, a splash of lemon juice and salt to taste.  Don't go too big on the salt, you can always add more later.  Run the food processor for another few seconds to mix the lemon juice and salt in evenly.

Your guacamole is all but finished at this point and can be served as is.  I like to take the additional step of dicing a tomato and mixing that in with the guacamole after moving the guacamole from the food processor into a bowl.  The tomato will add some more volume and an added complimentary taste.   Once your guacamole is done, take those avocado pits that you saved, put them in the bowl with the guacamole and just push them to the bottom with a spoon.  The pits will keep your guacamole green and fresh for a few days.  This gives you the option of making it the night prior and packing it up on Saturday morning to take to your tailgate.

So there you have it.  Tortilla chips and dips.  The better the tortilla chips the better all of this stuff tastes, but all three of these recipes are good enough to make even the average Tostito a hit.  Enjoy!