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ND vs. Maryland: Feathers in The Cap and Black Eyes

We here at One Foot Down know very well that Notre Dame fans like few things more than a good tradition.  We also know that Irish fans are too smart for saccharine "likes vs. dislikes" or "cheers and jeers" columns.  We know that Irish fans seek enlightenment above all else.  Hoping the capitalize on Irish fans' hunger for knowledge and tradition fixation, the Mouth of the South begins a new tradition of awarding Feathers In The Cap and Black Eyes following each Notre Dame game.  "Feathers In The Cap" and "Black Eyes" comes from Catch 22's sycophantic Colonel Cathcart, who cares for nothing but to please his superiors.  "Colonel Cathcart was indefatigable that way, an industrious, intense, dedicated military tactician who calculated day and night in the service of himself."  Colonel Cathcart tabulated his success by measuring "Feathers In The Cap" and "Black Eyes."  Without further adieu, ND vs. Maryland Feathers and Black Eyes:

Feathers In The Cap

Jonas Gray, who finished with 136 yards on 21 attempts for 2 touchdowns and a gaudy 6.5 yards per carry.  Jonas did everything you would want your starting tailback to do, and I wanted to see even more of him, at least in the first quarter.

Cierre Wood, who had a "disappointing" day with 18 carries for 99 yards and 1 touchdowns and a "pedestrian" 5.5 yards per attempt.  Wood also made an acrobatic play to corral a badly thrown Tommy Rees swing pass--more on this later--to pick up 10 yards and a first down, and prevent another backwards-pass turnover.  And finally, for DE-CLEATING a Maryland defender on Tyler Eifert's 34-yard touchdown reception.  

The entire offensive line, which paved the way for a 212-yard rushing day by the Irish offense.  

The entire defense, which held Maryland to 7 points--which they likely only got because of a stupid unnecessary-roughness penalty--when it mattered.

Ben Turk, who boomed a few punts and downed one inside the 20.  

David Ruffer, who nailed a 52 yard field goal.  

Joe Vellano, who was just a warrior.  

Maryland's defensive line, which gave Notre Dame's offensive line all they could handle in the pass protection.

The sprint draw, on which Jonas Gray picked up 19 yards on 3rd and 17.  This is the rare example of a constraint play that works in the absence of any threat whatsoever of Tommy Rees hurting the defense on a Roll Out.  Totally Ludacris.

Black Eyes

Small ball, which was good enough against Maryland, but which will severely limit this offense against any defense with a stout front seven.  

Rees on the deep ball.  TR just wasn't putting it anywhere that Floyd could make a play on it, with the notable exception of the touchdown.  He also made very few attempts down field.  When we're picking up 3rd and 17 on the sprint draw, who needs to put the ball downfield?  We will, when we play someone that can handle our run game with their front seven.  

Fashion.  Flesh-colored shirt sleeves?  White shoes without the requisite long white socks--the only way that white shoes look cool?  Maryland's unis?  And perhaps even worse than Maryland's unis--Notre Dame's helmets?  That velvet-feathering they did in the gold just looks awful, and match up the greens, for the love of Pete. At least Maryland's helmets look cool when you're only looking at the red and white side.  Good grief.

Pass Protection, oy, such a thing.  Someone told our offensive line about their streak?  Whoever did it needs a Code Red.  Must have been Miesle.

Garbage-time touchdowns.  Doesn't this team realize that I need to go to work on Monday. Keep 'em to single digits next time.  It looks so much cleaner.

The Player Highlight Touchdown Guarantee.  Harrison Smith did not get into the end zone.  It seemed like a super-quiet game for him and Te'o.  It must have been because our defense didn't play that many snaps.  We had a nine-minute time of possession advantage.    

What say our loyal and erudite readers?  Assign Feathers In The Cap and Black Eyes of your own, for the Irish and the remainder of the college football world, excluding Penn State.  You can go there if you want to, as we love a free and open discussion, but why don't we keep it to the football?  Check out Kelly's Gyros's Fanpost if you want to delve into the Penn State scandal.